"Quotes"

Marine Corps Joke

Oxsymoron: it from my college fraternity
Oxsymoron: Tappa Kegga Brew

Its like banging a tennis ball against a brick wall. which can be fun. yes it can be fun. But its not a game. no its not a game. American Pie

"So whats this i hear of you breaking a rake and throwing it into the forest??" "I didnt break the rake. i was testing its durability, and then because its made of wood, i placed it in the forest where it belongs." Happy Gilmore

You should never trust your fate to 12 people who arent smart enough to get out of jury duty.

What are you going to do without a body?? I'll be fine, bodys are only for hookers and fat people. Futurama

If someone who has multiple personalities threaten to kill themselves is it considered a hostage situation?? One Liners

If you can't do it with one bullet, don't do it at all.

It's better to ride a slow bike fast, then ride a fast bike slow.

Wanna get confused?? ask greg abuot the universal chain theory.

Six minutes, its all you got; its all you need.

In my life my friends are with me till the end. Life is good when you got your friends.

Ok, story behind this one. My dad is sitting here watching American Idol. Yes its bad so far. It gets worse one of the contestants sucked hardcore and sounded gay. I mean literally. So my father made this comment, "Man, he's as gay as a three dollar bill." is it just me or is that old.

Here comes the dreamer. Let us kill him. Then we will see what comes of his dreams.

The only risk in taking an adventure is not taking it all.

I never compete against the competition; the only one to compete against is myself, because one day I will beat the competition and then who will I compete against?"

Every wrong decision is in fact a correct decision but taken at a wrong time... So my friends...don't regret...don't stop...keep walking ahead.

The strength of the team is each individual member...the strength of each member is the team.

Most people have the will to win; few have the will to prepare to win.

In the end, we do battle only with ourselves. We are slaves to whatever we don't understand.

Even a good decision if made for the wrong reasons can be a wrong decision.

This is either madness... or brilliance.It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

That's what a motorcycle is, you know. It's not just a seat and handlebars and an exhaust and gas. That's what a motorycle needs. But what a motorcyle is, is freedom.

Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable; they go together.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Isn't having a smoking section in a resturaunt sorta like having a peeing section in a pool?

Our greatest loves bring our greatest fears.

From the deepest desires often come the deadlist hate.

I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

Take what you can and give nothing back.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

All good things in life are either immoral, fattening or overpriced.

Mmmm. Smell of gas in the evening.

One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness. Though it seems enough to condemn him.

The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do.

A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around.

If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

Fortune favors the Bold.

You come into the world with nothing. You leave the world with nothing. While you're here, you should have something really cool.

Cry havoc; and let slip the dogs of war. Julias Ceaser

So live that you can look any man in the eye and tell him to go to hell.

My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all..

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Do you know how self centered we as humans are?? We mourn the death of every single human. But when we look at other species we dont care if one dies. We only start to care when the whole freakin species dies. Why are we so self centered??? That is stupid. Care people, its what right.

Funny Latin Quotes

Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum
Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe.

Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head

Cowards die many times before their death, the valiant never tastes of death but once. Julias Ceasar

One day I was in a public park, reading "C++ For Dummies" when someone came up and asked me what I was reading. I told him I was reading a book about C++. He responded, "Oh, HTML kicks C++'s @$$."

~ Airline funnies.... ~

Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world. Note not all are G rated.

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."

There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down."Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

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